What's your favorite Christmas song???

Actually, this is one of my favorite song's ever.

And can we talk about Bono's hair?

It's magical.

How can I torture my child when she gets older???

Oh, yes, I know.... take them to Olan Mills for holiday pictures. Below each picture you can read, what I'm sure my child was thinking while this was happening to her.

Seriously, you want me to put my hands on my hips then put my feet where?

Oh Sweet Jesus, you scared me!

What's in there??

My mom really wanted to pick this one, but the asshole
photographer made it look like I have a snowball bra!

My hair looks funky in this one... and well so do I.

I can't help laughing at how stupid this is!

I know I'm cute, but again funky hair. Dammit!

This was in the running, but my mom couldn't
get over my left eye looking a little gimpish.

Sheet of wallets.... SCORE!

Listen bitch, "I am smiling!"

And the winner is........ Thanks mom for picking the most idiotic picture!

Ahhhh Thanksgiving....

So here's the deal with me and Thanksgiving... I'm not a fan!

Not really sure where this stemmed from, but I've never liked it. It probably has a lot, if not everything, to do with the fact that I don't eat turkey. Yeah, that's definitely it!

But, here's my other theory... 20 years ago at the ripe old age of 11, I got my first period on Thanksgiving. Let's talk about how fun that was... umm, 6th grader, 11 years old and I was wearing white (apparently I was unaware of the Labor Day laws regarding white). I told NO ONE! I was mortified. I knew what it was and what it meant. I couldn't believe that I could physically get pregnant, yet I hadn't even "French Kissed" a boy yet. **On a side note - Do we still teach our kids the term "French Kissed"?** How, at 11, I knew the logistics of what getting a period meant, is beyond me. What I do know is that I had just eaten a ton of turkey, mashed potatoes and cream corn (God, I love that stuff) and I was feeling really sick to my stomach, (which I now know were cramps in my uterus), so I automatically associated stomach pains, AKA uterus cramps, with Thanksgiving dinner.

Also, at this wise age of 11, I decided to give up eating all "cute" animals. In my mind, that meant cows and pigs. So the following Thanksgiving, when asked why I wasn't eating any turkey I decided to throw turkey's into the mix of "cute" animals.

I mean who wouldn't love this face?

So here we are 20 years later and I still don't eat turkey. I'm actually a vegetarian now, well actually a pescatarian, but that's big word and it confuses people, so I stick with vegetarian.

I did have a brief stint about 5 years ago at being a meat eater, but that lasted only about a year. I did revisit eating turkey as well, but it kinda freaked me out. Although, it was fried and, if I must say, it really is the way to go when making a turkey.

So this year like the past 10 years (minus the meat eating year) I will prepare my tofurkey dinner. I know many of you shudder at the thought of this, but it really is good eatin! But, I also will be preparing two, yes TWO, actual turkeys as well. Which reminds me, I need to go and buy those suckers.....

So for now I'll leave you with this:

Dear Steelers...

YOU SUCK!!!!

***Keep in mind I normally love you to pieces and I'm typically you're biggest fan, but I can't remember the last time I was this embarrassed to admit it.***

The Perfect Human Form

Okay, so we all know who this is, right? If not, I'm not really sure that I can even deal with you right now. Anyways, even with his flushed cheeks, slumped walk and (hearsay) poor hygiene he is, in my opinion (for whatever that is worth) what a perfect human being should look like.

What is driving me crazy is how and, more importantly, WHEN did this happen???

Do we remember when he looked like this??

Poor guy was just the sidekick to Daniel Radcliffe's Harry Potter.

So said sidekick disappears for awhile then emerges as EDWARD! And now he looks like this:

I just don't get it, but quite frankly don't care how it happened. I want to thank whatever part of the universe that was responsible for this. My eyeballs are forever grateful!

BTW - My reason for this obnoxious, school-girl-crush post is to get me even more excited than I already am to go see NEW MOON tomorrow.

New to this world

So as you can see from my very first post (two years ago), I'm not very good at keeping up with this kind of stuff. I feel like I have so much to say, until I have to actually say it. I would love for "you" to love what I write, visit every day and tell all your friends about me.

With that said I feel I must disclose these things:

1. I am judgemental (I mean no harm)
2. I am sarcastic most of the time (Okay about 95% of the time)
3. I am stubborn (My way or the highway kind of girl)
4. I am NEVER EVER wrong (See above)
5. I am very politically incorrect (I still say midget)
6. I am super liberal (Yes I LOVE Obama)
7. I am not religious (Never will be, so don't even go there with me)
8. I am reincarnated from a truck driver (The things that come out of my mouth)
9. I am the biggest procrastinator ever (I should be doing paperwork right now)

Phew! Okay, so I felt I just needed to put that out there.

Now, keep in mind I'm currently in nursing school, or fucking hell (whichever you prefer), so I will spend a good amount of time bitching about that. If all goes as planned, and my ass doesn't fail out, I will be done May 7, 2010. Which at that point I'm sure I'll start bitching about work.

So that's all I'm going to leave you with for tonight.

For all of you who are going to see New Moon at midnight, I HATE YOU! I will be attempting to sleep, so I can wake up at 5:30AM to hang out at the hospital all day.

xo

Anissa Mayhew

Dear Anissa,

I don't know you.

I know you are loved by many.

I know that you had a stroke yesterday.

I know you are WAY to young to have a stroke.

I know you have three young children who need their mom.

I know that without you many will be devastated.

I know that you need to pull through.

I know that I normally don't pray.

I know that starting today won't hurt.

I know that I can't wait to say I know you.